Embracing the Paradox

Oriah Mountain Dreamer, a beautiful poet, wrote this wonderful piece regarding the paradoxes we live in, live through and live with, in our lives. As I follow along my own path, I find her words to be filled with truth, wisdom and humor.

“This is the reality we live: aspiring to be our best, longing for and sometimes finding meaning and connection within ourselves and that which is larger than ourselves, we are undone by messy bathrooms, traffic jams, and burnt toast. I am not interested in a spirituality that cannot encompass my humanness….Beneath the small daily trials are harder paradoxes, things that the mind cannot reconcile but the heart must hold if we are to live fully: profound tiredness and radical hope; shattered beliefs and relentless faith; the seemingly contradictory longings for personal freedom and a deep commitment to others, for solitude and intimacy, for the ability to simply be with the world and the need to change what we know is not right about how we are living.”

Doesn’t it all come down to handling the small things like burnt toast? I find that rather than "fighting" with paradox and "beating myself up" for not always living in my best self, that evolving my perspective is more likely to come as I recognize the grace provided in all of life’s experiences and embrace the entirety of the paradox created (by design or by default) in my journey.

As always, I look forward to your insight and thoughts.

Paradoxical Commandments of Leadership

The Paradoxical Commandments of Leadership were written by Kent Keith in 1968, when he was 19, a sophomore at Harvard College. They apply today just as they did in 1968. Interestingly, Kent was active and passionate about student leadership in high school and worked with high school kids long after he left college. During his first couple years of college, he found that he could get many students excited about making a difference in the world, but when they hit the real world, they became discouraged and decided that being a leader wasn't all it was cracked up to be.

When Kent introduced the Paradoxical Commandments of Leadership in his book about leadership in student councils, now referred to by John C Maxwell and others as seminal work for the mantle of leadership, he said, "I laid down the Paradoxical Commandments as a challenge. The challenge is to always do what is right and good and true, even if others don't appreciate it. You have to keep striving, no matter what, because if you don't, many of the things that need to be done in our world will never get done."

The Paradoxical Commandments of Leadership

People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered. Love them anyway.
If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives. Do good anyway.
If you are successful, you win false friends and true enemies. Succeed anyway.
The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway.
Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable. Be honest and frank anyway.
The biggest men with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men with the smallest minds. Think big anyway.
People favor underdogs, but follow only top dogs. Fight for a few underdogs anyway.
What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight. Build anyway.
People really need help but may attack you if you do help them. Help people anyway.
Give the world the best you have and you'll get kicked in the teeth. Give the world the best you have anyway.

I have read and re-read these a few times a year now for several years, and I have to say that every time I do, I am motivated to be a better person, reaffirmed in doing good because good is always good, and humbled by a 19 year old students wisdom.

As always, I would love to hear your thoughts and insights!

How is Life like a Video Game?

One of my collegues and friends wrote a great post last week on a re-frame for the challenges in his life. that came from his frustrating experiences learning new video games.

He writes, "Then I had an epiphany. The people who designed these games don’t design them so that a person can get one third of the way through just to quit. It is in their interest, in the game publisher’s interest, for users to want to finish the game. So they have built a way to finish the game into it. There is a way there, I just have to find it."

I generally believe that the universe is designed to support us not "take us out of the game." There is not always a way out of the challenge or around the painful experiences in our path, but there is always a way "through" it.

So for all of you that enjoy video games or have people in your life that love them, this post may be one that brings a new way to teach your children and yourself about facing the challenges that appear on your path!

You can read it here - http://enfineitz.com/wp/

As always, I look forward to your insights and experiences!

Conscious Practice

“If I don't practice one day, I know it; two days, the critics know it; three days, the public knows it.”

Jascha Heifetz became an unparalleled violinist; born with a divine gift he started playing the violin at three years old and played for the first time in the United States at Carnegie Hall in New York at the age of 16. He is widely regarded as one of the finest violinists of all time and continues to be admired for his immaculate technique and a tonal beauty that many violinists still regard as unequaled.

Perhaps this serves as a dramatic and simple example of Aristotle’s words, “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”

It may well serve us to be very conscious about our own practices, by determining:

1. What are my chosen practices, the things I repeatedly do, to ensure a habit of excellence?
   For example, I know for me that in order to be playing at the top of my game professionally and as a mom, I must incorporate weekly and even better daily, the practice of meditation, reflection, exercise, prayer and learning or I find myself slipping from center ground.
2. Am I conscientiously staying “in those practices” in such a way that I am consistently moving toward a manifestation of gifts given and my potential?
3. Do I know how long does it takes me to notice when I am “not” practicing and do I have conscious triggers to ensure I get back on track quickly?
4. AND, if I have lost the rigor of consistency in my life for awhile (because let's face it, it happens), my favorite question to ask my self and my clients is always, “When would now be a good time?”

As always, I look forward to your thoughts, reflections, stories and comments here or on facebook!

Are you listening to your own being?

"If you do not express your own original ideas, if you do not listen to your own being, you will have betrayed yourself. Also you will have betrayed our community in failing to make your contribution to the whole."-- Rollo May (1909-1994), American psychologist, from The Courage to Create

This is one of my favorite quotes. If you are like me, you will want to read it 3 or 4 times to make sure it sinks in and to ponder your own response and self evaluation. I believe that each of us feels at certain times in our life, a spark of ideas, intuition or creativity that seems to call to us unrelentingly from with in. When we do not listen and ignore that inner wisdom, the results are usually not favorable. What I have experienced myself, and what I have seen from those I know and have coached is an ensuing state of discontent. The things that once fulfilled us, do not. The thing that was okay for years, is suddenly simply not okay. This is because, in the moment we chose to ignore our inner voice, we betrayed our path and the path we are on however safe, however justified, becomes inwardly unbearable, as we find ourselves out of integrity with what needs to happen to bring us toward fulfillment.

What we may fail to recognize in that discontent, is not only have we betrayed ourselves, but as Rollo May suggests, we have failed our community by never letting them hear or be apart of something that could have been and needed to be.

Think of the many times you have been in a meeting when someone finally spoke up and told the truth, finally popping the blister in the room which allowed the meeting to flourish. Now, think of the many times that has not happen and ask, how is that not a betrayal for our whole community?

Think of the times we choose fear over faith and belief and stay stuck on a path that only brings growing resentment and stagnation. Self-betrayal is a most deadly poison. There is nothing like choosing courage over fear to unleash new possibilities and realities.

What thoughts and feelings does May call up for you? I look forward to your thoughts and insights.

The Three Persistent Challenges of Our Time

Last week I attended the World Business Forum. It is always a great conference and Bill and I enjoy it very much. This year, former President Bill Clinton was the closing speaker. He articulately presented three persistent challenges for our day in the world. I believe they are critical to the leadership conversation and challenge as well.

The World is Inter-dependent. Inter-dependent is not just "global in nature", but truly tied to each other. This can be viewed as both good and bad – in terms of consequences. However, divorce is not an option. We have to strive for a world where we share benefits and accountability's to create healthy inter-dependence.

The World is Incredibly Unstable. The inequality in the world and the nature of shared vulnerability is a constant threat. He used a couple examples of the economic downturn and its ramifications throughout the world suggesting that any country that was highly leveraged lost unforeseeable fortunes due to the domino effect around the world. Even China that had significant cash reserves and thought they were in the clear, soon found that the customers dried up and found themselves in a situation where they had 35 million unemployed factory workers! Bottom line: There is no such thing as a solution without an unintended consequence. This is chaos theory and a real quantum physics reality we are seeing play out.

The "How" is Unsustainable. The climate change issues worldwide and the way in which we use energy and resources currently are simply not sustainable. President Clinton discussed this "how" question and its importance. At this time large amounts of his life now are about proving that it is good business for us to find ways of operating that are sustainable.

Implications. This leads me to implications for the new leadership required to meet these challenges in our own lives, communities, organizations and the world. Learning and knowing how to operate in a interdependent universe is about understanding systems much more deeply and knowing how to influence in a whole new way; we cannot succeed in an old style of command and control or by disengaging through passive distance. We must view "control and safety" in a completely new way.

It also requires the ability to maintain personal stability in instability. This requires personal grounding, agility and adaptability unlike we have previously had to demonstrate. Lastly, it requires that we look at how we view sustainability in our own jobs and careers, in our organizations and utilizing a higher order “how” in our criteria for achievement. It may well be that sustainability is not about year over year incremental returns, but about creating completely new ways of operating, new visions and new markets. In times of crisis, markets never return to their previous state. Understanding what that means when choosing a degree, looking for a new job, or staying in business is critical. Understanding what it means for the planet and our stewardship, even more critical.

At Maxcomm we work with leaders to evolve their current leadership operating system (internal and external) to a higher order system. After listening to Clinton, it became clear to me that leaders will need to evolve even more quickly than they have before if we are collectively going to meet the enormous challenges of our day.

As always, I look forward to your thoughts and discussion!

Energy and Leadership

This blog post by Rosabeth Moss Kanter, the guru, is well worth the read.

She states, "Just plain energy is a neglected dimension of leadership. It is a form of power available to anyone in any circumstances. While inspiration is a long-term proposition, energy is necessary on a daily basis, just to keep going."

Energy is always being expended, reserved or replenished individually. We have all witnessed what it is like to have the energy in the room get sucked right out leaving it difficult to continue, and we have experienced times when the energy was truly "electric" and contagious. Yet, Rosabeth is correct, it is not generally discussed in terms of achieving tangible results.

Her article provides 3 tips with anecdotes that I found fun to read and it may be very useful to those of you looking for ways to keep the "energy" productive and optimistic in somewhat unsettling times. This of course, includes your own energy!
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http://tinyurl.com/ybrtueg

As always, I can't wait to hear your insights!

Creating A New Reality

“Trust yourself. Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life. Make the most of yourself by fanning the tiny, inner sparks of possibility into flames of achievement.”
Golda Meir

Most of our unhappiness comes from aspects of our life, or aspects of our self that are out of alignment with what we truly want, and at some level feel unable to achieve. Golda's advice is a critical start, trust yourself. But this trust comes from accessing our "whole" self. Part of navigating away from our "stories, reasons and excuses" is getting clear about what we really want, tapping into our inner wisdom, tuning into our intuition, uncovering our delusions by facing reality and taking the leap of faith to create the alignment we seek by deliberate "action paired with commitment."

"Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative and creation, there is one elementary truth the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in ones favor all manner of unforeseen incidents, meetings and material assistance which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. I have learned a deep respect for one of Goethe's couplets: 'Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it! Boldness has genius, magic, and power in it.” --W.H. Murray, of the Scottish Himalayan Expedition

We all have times when radical reinvention is required and others when only small tweaks are necessary. Regardless of the amount of growth and change required, trusting our self and acting upon it enables greater things to happen on our behalf.

As always I look forward to hearing your thoughts and examples!

Yes to Life!

Crisis, loss and change of any kind, such as the current economic downturn, accompanied by all of the ramifications, while difficult and frustrating, can be an opportunity - a wake up call - to create a new path that may not have been explored otherwise. Crisis of any kind is always scary, mostly because of an innate fear of the unknown that naturally ensues and discombobulates our confidence.

History provides some powerful examples of those who endured tremendous crisis and chose to call upon a deeper well than fear; the resilience in the human spirit to fight on and create space for hope. I am always particularly struck by some of the World War II stories of Jewish prisoners stuck in the most evil and depraved conditions a human being can ever know. Most of us have heard of Man's Search for Meaning by Victor Frankl, yet his stories are but only a few of those who chose to call upon the will and nobility of the human spirit to make a difference.

Fritz Lohner-Beda, was one of the most sought after librettist and lyricists during the 1920's and 30's. He was arrested immediately after the Nazi annexation of Austria in March 1938. He immediately sent Buchenwald, one of the largest and first Nazi concentration camps on German soil. It was there that along with composer Hermann Leopoldi he wrote the camp anthem, the "Buchenwald Song". It was sung by prisoners as a gesture of defiance because the lyrics expressed hope for freedom beyond the barbed wire. In October 1942 Lohner-Beda was transported to Auschwitz III in Monowitz, Poland. Too old and ill for forced labor, he was either beaten to death or sent to the gas chamber in 1942. His wife and two daughters died at other camps. When Buchenwald was liberated by US troops in April 1945, surviving inmates spontaneously sang the "Buchenwald Song" as free men. With the promise of Lohner-Beda's lyrics fulfilled, the song remains a tribute to his gift and ability to keep hope alive for many that survived.

O Buchenwald, I can’t forget about you,
because you are my fate.
Who leaves you, only he can appreciate
how wonderful freedom is!
O Buchenwald, we don’t cry and complain
and whatever may be our destiny,
even so we shall say “yes” to life
for once the day shall come when we shall be free!

Surely none of us will ever face such dire circumstances and yet, it caused me to wonder:

How are we responding to our current circumstances? Are we calling forth the best in ourselves and others? Are we simply complaining and not doing anything about it but dragging others down? Are we living our opportunity and calling to inspire ourselves and others, saying "yes" to life?

I believe that saying "yes to life" means taking personal responsibility to shape a life that expresses the best of our talents, values and positive influence. It is making the most of our abilities and daring to follow our dreams. Steve Jobs has always been an example, for me, of someone that says "yes" to life. He knows that to go after what you want, to change your circumstance, to live a dream, you have to be willing to sacrifice, to see life as the precious commodity that it is, take risks, have faith and create opportunities.

In light of saying "yes" to life, this excerpt from Steve Jobs’s 2005 Stanford University Commencement Speech:

Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice.
You have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something – your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.
The only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle.
Being the richest man in the cemetery doesn’t matter to me. Going to bed at night saying we’ve done something wonderful, that’s what matters to me.

I would love to hear your stories about saying, yes to life. As always, I look forward to hearing from you.

Extreme Management

This is truly worth the read. The article, entitled Extreme Management, hits businesses squarely in the heart:
"Your sales are down. Your operating costs are out of control. Your cash flow has slowed to a trickle. Your bank won’t give you a loan. Of course you blame the economy. Everybody is suffering, so it’s no wonder your business is in trouble, right?
Wrong. Don’t blame the economy. Recession or no recession, if your business is failing, it’s your fault."

Wanna read more? The New York Enterprise Report

Let me know if you find this article painfully accurate or fatally flawed!
As always, I love your reading your thoughts and comments!

What does Self Esteem have to do with Productivity?

As we work to adapt to economic conditions, many companies are now expecting fewer people to accomplish more without a lot of hand holding, and with fewer resources. For organizations to survive the “more with less” tactic, they must be staffed with people who can think, learn, adapt and demonstrate flexibility. Regardless of the streamlined processes used and the up to do technology embraced, people are at the heart and soul of every business. Studies suggest that those with low self-esteem tend to be higher maintenance and perpetuate lower levels of productivity in an organization. In an era where intelligence, creativity, passion, resiliency and a willingness to make mistakes are critical, low self-esteem organizations will find it much more difficult to rebound.

Nathaniel Brandon, author of Six Pillars of Self-Esteem, observed, “Of all the judgments we pass in life, none is more important than the one we pass on ourselves” because it dramatically affects the core of our existence and everything we touch. According to Brandon, self-esteem is comprised of two components—a basic confidence in facing life’s challenges and a sense of feeling worthy of happiness and fulfillment.

To achieve and maintain productive levels of self-esteem, we must be more self-aware. Will Shutz, one of the founders of the personal growth movement, suggests “high performance in organizations is dependent on individuals who are willing to be aware of self.” That requires a self-concept strong enough to look in the mirror without feeling a need to control information that may be uncomplimentary to an individual’s position. This also means not being threatened by the successes of others or gloating over their failures. This came home when consulting with the CEO of a technology firm. We conducted an employee opinion survey which included rating people’s feelings of worth and value to the company and their teams. The ratings were extremely low. When we tabulated the results, we spoke candidly with the CEO regarding the employees’ responses. The CEO’s perception was that his people had not hired anyone they felt was a threat or better than they were at accomplishing tasks or performing a function. He observed, “I have an organization where everyone is afraid of someone performing better than they do.”

The paradox is that to improve the organization, you must first work with the underlying belief
and confidence of the individual members of that organization; especially its leaders initially. My work with values-based change has proven that: individuals always undergo significant change
before the organization does. For instance, in a leadership session I facilitated, employees of the client organization indicated they were afraid to share information, particularly in the area of telling the truth. They felt “back stabbing” was so prevalent, they would allow another person to walk off a cliff rather than speak out. After the company invested significantly in personal development, one person observed, “You have to change your approach to life before you can change your approach to business.” A supervisor from another department said, “I became a better father, a better spouse and a better little league coach. Now, I bring that better
‘me’ to work every day.”

Consider these questions:

What is my confidence?
I feel competent in most settings? Unsure? I have a need to be validated and have decisions validated?
Do I feel deserving and capable of getting the job and life I want?
I walk confidently toward my goals? Never share my goals? Don’t have goals?
Do I keep my word and commitments with myself and others?
I know when I say I will get something done, it will get done; on time? I keep some commitments and let others slip? I don’t know how to say no and get over my head?

If your answer was less desirable than you want it to be, coaching and development may be a consideration for you. I also recommend reading any of Nathaniel Brandon’s books on the subject of self-esteem. I look forward to your comments and insights!

Wisdom, Emotional Intelligence and Rationalization

Wisdom is a fascinating word. To be wise is not summed up adequately by the word intelligent, or experienced, or skilled. It demands the integration of words to begin to frame it; intuitive and knowledgeable, perceptive and experienced, for instance. To come into its possession seems also to call for integration. Specifically, the integration of mind - spirit awareness before we can access the grace of its gifted moments.

"In seeking wisdom thou art wise; in imagining that thou hast attained it, thou art a fool."

Rabbi Ben Azai

Wisdom, perhaps is best integrated and described in business terms by what we now call "emotional intelligence," a concept made popular by the groundbreaking book by Daniel Goleman, and based on years of research by numerous scientists such as Peter Salovey and John Meyer just to name a couple. Their studies conclude that people with high emotional intelligence tend to be more successful in life than those with lower EIQ even if their classical IQ is average. Emotional Intelligence, Salovey states, is the ability to identify, use, understand and manage emotions. This was brought to the forefront of my mind when I read a fascinating study in Fast Company recently:

"Consider a provocative series of experiments conducted by Chen-Bo Zhong of the University of Toronto. He put test subjects into interactions with an anonymous partner where they had two options: to treat their partners fairly or to lie to them. If they decided to lie, they would gain at the expense of their partners. Before making the decision to cheat or be fair, the test subjects were given some guidance. Some were encouraged to think rationally about the situation and to ignore their emotions. Equipped with this advice, the great majority (69%) analyzed the situation and concluded that they should screw their partners. Others were primed to "make decisions based on gut feelings." Their guts were pretty trustworthy: Only 27% lied.

The implications for improving emotional intelligence and deepening the ability to be wise, described in biblical terms as the ability to not only think with the mind but with the heart, seem rather compelling in today's environment!

For the full article from Fast Company: http://www.fastcompany.com/magazine/137/made-to-stick-in-defense-of-feelings.html

As always, I look forward to your insight and comments.

Do You Have an Excessive Need to Be Yourself?

I can't resist sharing this post from Marshall Goldsmith. Last month I worked with a department where many of the managers thought that they did not need to acknowledge their staff's good work. I received comments like, "why should anyone get attention for doing their job?" Marshall's example reminded me of some of my conversations and his example is superb! You will enjoy this post.
Do You Have an Excessive Need to Be Yourself?

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Aspire!

I just finished a book entitled, Aspire! by Kevin Hall (Hardcover - Dec 29, 2009) I was able to get an early copy and wanted to share a few insights. The book is, in fact, inspiring and has several little nuggets of gold in language distinction, which I loved. I appreciate when a writer can take a word and make it mean more and provide the reader with room for their own "ah-ha moments." Kevin has done that in this book.

Jim Collin's Level 5 leader is both undaunted and humble - I thought you would enjoy diving in with me on two words explored in the book: Leader and Humility:

Leader, it turns out is an Indo-European word and is derived from two words: “Lea” which means path and “der” which means finder. Therefore at its root, a leader is a pathfinder. This may come as a blinding flash of the obvious, but how many leaders do you know that really are not pathfinders? Particularly in today's environment, having the vision, foresight and the undaunted courage to find the right path and help others get on it is required.
If we were to use only this definition, pathfinder, we would conclude that to be a leader, you must be able to read the signs and the clues toward the right direction, see the path and then be able to show others the path. This is not to say that this leader would not invite other's to join in to share what they see and flesh out methods for getting on the path, but a real visionary and pathfinder tends to see initially what others do not. In addition, being a pathfinder, not only means finding the "right strategic path" but also means being a pathfinder for your life – knowing what path you are called to take is what makes authentic leaders truly exemplary. Before we can help someone else find their path, we must find your own and stay agile enough to adapt to change as needed!

How would you rate your leadership using the root definition, pathfinder?

Humility, has its origin in the Latin word, humus, meaning soil – specifically rich, dark, organic soil. Kevin explains that when a seed is planted in fertile soil it transforms into something far greater and can share itself with others. (The seed, of course, becoming a magnificent tree and bearing fruit and shade to share with us mere mortals and animal life)
Humility, if we use this meaning, starts with the nurturing quality of the soil – humus. (We could say for humans that perhaps, humus is an open and mailable heart and mind.) When we have humus in our lives, we seek to learn, gather new skills, knowledge, and grow and develop; thus fostering a suitable attitude and "soil" ingredients that ensure optimal fruit. Interestingly, humility is the soil that allows self-mastery and leadership to thrive. It requires humus to be able to be teachable, to be wrong, to learn more even when one is the expert, and to be coachable even when one doesn't have to be. It takes humus to truly become a master of self, where the self is constantly looking for how to improve and learn from others. Self-mastery can only be gained through openness to honest feedback, self evaluation and practice. It is what makes great leaders great.

What kind of soil or humus do you currently possess?

Now, how fun is that?!

Our Pursuit of Perfection

Just published this postcard for my clients. Thought you might be interested to read it as well. I would love to hear your thoughts and impressions.
09_JUN_Our Pursuit of Perfection.pdf

Extrodinary Moment from Robert White

I received this post from Robert White, a friend of ours and an amazing trainer, coach, etc. Thought I'd post this one for you to read. Enjoy!

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”
Rumi

My personal journey of growth and discovery plus my experience in hundreds of seminars and with thousands of people informs me that most people—beginning with me—are somewhat hard wired to look outside ourselves for answers.

A profound process is to follow this Sufi poet’s counsel and do the necessary and sometimes painful work of self discovery; to identify and clear those “barriers within yourself” preventing you from full self expression; to cease seeking for love and move yourself to a place where you can simply allow it to flow.
With love and respect,
Robert

Crossroads

"Meditation is old and honorable, so why should I not sit, every morning of my life, on the hillside, looking into the shining world? Because, properly attended to, delight, as well as havoc, is suggestion. Can one be passionate about the just, the ideal, the sublime, and the holy, and yet commit to no labor in it's cause? I don't think so.

All summations have a beginning, all effect has a story, all kindness begins with the sown seed. Thought buds toward radiance. The gospel of light is the crossroads of - indolence, or action.

Be ignited, or be gone?" - Mary Oliver

I have had dedicated coaches and counseling throughout my life; by choice as I am in the profession. (I believe in eating your own cookin') One day as I went on reviewing my week and venting to my coach, he said, "Are you going to do anything about it or do you just want to whine about it? And then came the big ah-ha when he continued to say, "because if you choose not to do anything about it, then you lose your right to whine along with it." It has always stuck with me.

Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it.
Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.
--Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

What to do if you are in a Funk!

"A student asked Soen Nakagawa during a meditation retreat, "I am very discouraged. What should I do?" Soen replied, "Encourage others."
-- Story from Essential Zen

Have you ever noticed that when you're feeling discouraged, continuing to focus on your problems makes them worse? And in addition, your mood gets lower, rendering you less able to come to a higher resolution? The reason is clear: When problems dominate your consciousness, they create negative energy. Literally, every thought has energy - positive or negative and physiologically it shapes our experience. One of the best ways to get out of your own pre-occupation is to turn your attention towards others and away from yourself. A great way to do this is to visit someone else who is in trouble and be present for them, when you do this, you can see that your problems aren't so bad. Try volunteering to read for an evening at a cancer center or nursing home or walking across the street! I've said this before, but it is a mantra I keep for myself given I can succumb to personal discouragement! Treat those you meet and talk to as if THEY are in serious trouble, and you will be right more than half the time! (I've tested the stats and it is true!) Serving others, encouraging others or simply paying attention to others is a great way to get out of our own negativity and is a wonderful way of snapping you out of a funk.

I tell my clients is that in addition to managing the activities of their organization, they've also got to manage the energy! As a leader, others take cues from you on how to think, act, and feel. "I've noticed that when I get down, everyone else gets down too," a client recently noted." We feed off of each other's energy and as a leader, it is important to serve other's needs by managing our own energy! Simply taking the time to acknowledge and encourage others and keeping things in perspective by serving outward can make all the difference!

"Your programming leads to your thoughts; your thoughts lead to your feelings; your feelings lead to your actions; your actions leads to your results. Therefore, just as is done with a personal computer, by changing your programming, you take the first essential step to changing your results."

~ T. Harv Eker

Four Tangibles of Trust

A cornerstone to highly effective leadership teams, or any team for that matter, is establishing trust. Most of us are all too familiar with environments where trust is absent; keeping the game face on, blaming, general CYA at all times, working around certain people or departments; not fully disclosing, etc. All of this takes a long of energy, causes stress, creates ineffective and inefficient work processes, and creates a sense of hopelessness about creating the outcomes everyone “says” they want. Patrick Lencioni who wrote the best seller, The Five Dysfunctions of a Team, suggests that trust is so foundational that without it teams and organizations will find themselves perpetually underwhelmed by their results. But one liners about trust are so nebulous and so vague that it is hard to know what to "do" to create trust.

Trust can be quantified and is actually very concrete when it’s 4 elements are understood and deliberately worked. Managing trust can be a part of your personal and team leadership agenda.

Competence- Meeting Expectation

Simply stated: Do you have the skill, capability and capacity to perform the request at the expected level of excellence? When selecting a surgeon we do not generally put ourselves in their hands if they are not qualified and deemed competent by prior patients and other medical staff. The same is true in the business environment. If you find yourself taking things on that you have no expertise in but determine to take on anyway, it won’t be surprising when it is not done well. What you may not realize is that a general skepticism and lack of confidence will begin to erode “trust” in you. . When you hold yourself to be an expert at something but are not capable of performing to the specifications needed, you are, in essence, not trust worthy.

Reliability – The long View

Reliability consists of two elements. 1) Do you keep your word? and 2) Can you be counted on? Keeping commitments is based on having the integrity to do what you say you will do. If you promise something to someone on a certain date, does it happen consistently or do you “let things slide” without explanation requiring follow up? Do you say yes, when you know you won’t be able to accomplish the task when it is expected? Or how about the all so common, “let’s get together for dinner” without any intention to do so? When this behavior is exhibited you are seen as “not trustworthy” and the word spreads rapidly, most likely without ever getting back to you that you are “flaky.” Being counted on is related to keeping your word but it describes a deeper consistency. We once had an employee who was certainly competent and sometimes very reliable. However, there were times when this person became “missing in action” and in the end could not be counted on over the duration to be considered reliable or to be trusted. Consistency is essential for trust to be present.

Authenticity – Without Guile

To be authentic is simply to be sincere and transparent. This means that language is not disguised in double talk; people know that when you talk they can rely on your words. Authenticity also connotes integrity; when you say something, your actions bear it out. We see a lot of behavior today that is just the opposite of authentic or sincere; it is called beguilement. When our leaders or politicians use “guile” they are skilled in the art of deception using charm, hope and words that enamor but in the end mislead or delude. Authentic leaders give us the bad news without flowery words that mislead. The authentic path is sometimes a harder path as it takes courage and fortitude. In the end, however, it is these leaders who are most successful and most trusted. (sometimes even reaching beyond the grave in our memory)

Vulnerability – Beginner’s Mind

What does vulnerability have to do with trust? Wikipedia’s definition of vulnerability is to : have one's guard down, open to censure or criticism; assailable; refers to a person's state of being liable to succumb, as to persuasion. Clearly having one’s guard down when one is in military combat, is not what we are talking about here. The bullets of the corporation can be very threatening but the only way to “get out of corporate warfare” is for leaders to model a new way. This element is grounded in humility which happens to be the magic ingredient that Collins research defined for effective “level 5” leaders: catapulting them to the top. Being vulnerable as a leader means being open to others ideas, looking at things with what Buddhist call “the beginner’s mind." Allowing the expert mind to be quiet enough to learn new things and see others points of view. It means to honor and respect others ideas and perspectives. This also entails being open to feedback; both positive and negative with an attitude of learning and growth. Demonstrating vulnerability means letting go of the “old” command leadership style where you have all the answers to saying, “I don’t know” and allowing the answer to emerge or come from others as well as a willingness to try new things. Leadership teams that cannot have open conversations about their humanness, admit mistakes and fears and have the courage to “speak their truth” will never trust one another. This level of openness is simply required for real trust to exist.

The breach one of these elements decreases trust and trustworthiness. This doesn’t mean that one can’t apologize, establish new ways of operating and recommit! Working trust as a leader and as a team is a deliberate agenda that takes time for each member and the team as a whole to be consistent about. It's worth it if better results are desired and a personal benefit will emerge too as trust is established; more joy, less stress, a more fulfilling leadership experience, growth and better results.

Jacqueline Novogratz, CEO of Acumen Fund: Lessons in Leadership

I just watched this short video clip and was totally inspired. Had to share it!

Jacqueline Novogratz, CEO of Acumen Fund, shares lessons in leadership from her work in venture philanthropy.

This interview was conducted by Bill Javetski, an editor with the McKinsey Quarterly, in February 2009. It was recorded in the New York office of Acumen Fund. A wonderful video clip that you will not want to miss! Truly!

http://tinyurl.com/cqxj8l

The Experiment

I could not resist posting this email that went around. If you have seen it, what did you think about it? If not, read and let me know what you think the implications are for not only our country but for how we ensure high performance and purpose in organizations. This just facinates me!

An economics professor at Texas Tech said he had never failed a single student before but had, once, failed an entire class.
The class had insisted that socialism worked and that no one would be poor and no one would be rich, a great equalizer.
The professor then said OK, we will have an experiment in this class on socialism. All grades would be averaged and everyone would receive the same grade so no one would fail and no one would receive an A.
After the first test the grades were averaged and everyone got a B.

The students who studied hard were upset and the students who studied little were happy.
But, as the second test rolled around, the students who studied little had studied even less and the ones who studied hard
decided they wanted a free ride too; so they studied little.. The second Test average was a D!
No one was happy.

When the 3rd test rolled around the average was an F. The scores never increased as bickering, blame, name calling all resulted in hard feelings and no one would study for anyone else.

All failed to their great surprise and the professor told them that socialism would ultimately fail because the harder to succeed the greater the reward but when all the reward is taken away; no one will try or succeed.

Are you a leader? Are you sure?

"If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader." John Quincy Adams

So many leaders are worried about the "transactional" side of work; getting the details done correctly, ensuring their staff is working on the right things, answering questions, pointing out where they have made mistakes or missed something, etc. While this can be important, it is so very limiting to creating great results and true sustainability.

Great results happen when leaders create an environment where people are inspired and given the opportunity to grow, create and call forth their best self. Effective leadership means creating context for the organizational direction; translating that context in a way that allows employees to connect it to their work; and creating conditions that both encourage employees to fully engage and allow them to contribute with purpose, to the success of the company.

"Leadership is not magnetic personality. It is not ‘making friends’. Leadership is lifting a person’s vision to high sights and raising performance to a higher standard." Peter Drucker

A must see leadership survey. Important implications for leaders and their organizations this year. http://ping.fm/bz3jm

The Irrational Side of Change

I wanted to take a quick minute and simply post a link to a great article for those of you who are leading change, involved as a consultant or engaged in organizational development.This article discusses "WHY" all the things we know should work in change - do not always work!

It then provides some options to consider and I found it to be well worth the read.

http://ping.fm/wlXUU

Enjoy it and let me know hwat you think!

Are you awake?

On my morning run today I starting pondering about what it means to be fully awake in our life. (I realize that sounds a bit nutty, but after years of running I find it to be my best "reflection time" and the random thoughts just seem to come.) I then thought of the various spiritual teachers that point us to becoming more conscious.

“Awake, Awake” The Old Testament
“Can you coax your mind from its wandering?" The Tao Te Ching
“Well awake they arise, at all times…Constantly there is mindfulness…” The Dhammapada

My first husband and I are what you might call “opposites;” I learned a lot. He likes taking things slow, enjoying the small things in life and desires more than anything, peace and enjoyment in his life. I could have chided him with this line from Mary Oliver,

"Do you think that this world is only an entertainment for you?
No wonder we hear, in your mournful voice, the complaint
That something is missing from your life."

I have always been a “seeker.” Seeking a new quest, acquiring more knowledge, growing, and learning. I have been guided in my life by a need for meaningful work, passion and "what can or might be." In a younger time, I may have told you that my first husband was much better at being “present,” the word used to describe “in the moment” and rather smugly, I might have said that I was more about growth and achievement. This morning the more I thought about “awake” and it’s significance to being present, the more I thought about wholeness; wholeness is completeness.

I love the line from Mary Oliver,“What will you do with this one wild and precious life?" I love it because it calls us to be clear about our choices and to do that we need to awaken and be conscious!

Awakening from our all too often zombie like auto-mode, requires a deep comment to wholeness which includes a willingness and a desire for personal deep development and possibility and perspective & appreciation for “what is.” It is in the AND here that I draw a critical distinction: Amicably listening to an employee, for instance, without being willing to put an issue on the table that needs to be discussed is not being “present,” rather it is avoiding being present. Likewise, striving and striving for more or better without noting how far you have come or without noticing the present state of your health or the cost to your family is not development or growth, it’s just more driving and ego. True development requires becoming more capable of being mindful and fully present and being present requires committing to a rigorous path of development and action; they go hand in hand where one without the other can never be wholeness.

There are a few disciplines I follow pretty diligently that enable me to access “wholeness” in any given week: (I hit and miss, but when I do these things, it makes a big difference in my experience of life and the outcomes I create)

1. A practice of meditation and prayer


2. Physical exercise that acts as a clearing and cleansing


3. Consciously deciding to see people as real people versus things or objects; in the way, slowing me down, means to an end, to be managed, here for me and my needs, etc. (You'd be surprised by how often we can slip into seeing people as objects when it comes to projects and tasks!)


4. Regularly engaging in development and feedback that emerges the un-awakened me, allowing me to see my “blind spots” and staying open to it without justification


5. Slowing down and working hard to keep my plate not quite full (or not too full) so that I can pay attention and be present in the unexpected things that always come.
   
6. Reminding myself that things generally work out for the best; no need to control or wring my hands, I just need to stay awake, stay with it, not become attached to the outcome and see it through.
   

I look forward to learning from you about the yin-yang of wholeness. Keep the dialogue going and be awake!

Change is Change

Recently we had a “change experience” that reminded me, again, of how unsettling change can be even when it is great news. To the left is my darling grand-daughter, Hailey Elizabeth. She is 2 and ½ years old.

Below is our brand new grandson, Gavin. He was born on Monday. Hailey was not sure exactly what was happening at first and what "baby Gavin" actually would mean to her life.









On Thursday last week, I took Hailey out for a little one on one time. We had a great time getting our nails painted and playing. On the way back she started to get mad! I said, "Don't you want to go home and see your mom and dad and baby Gavin?" Her response: "No mommy, no Daddy, NO BABY."

It cracked me up! Poor darling was weary of this new new situation and wanted her "princess - one and only - status back immediately." Two and a half year olds are great at letting go (a lesson for us all) so by the time we got to her house she was happy to see her mom and dad again. She was especially happy to show off her newly painted finger and toe nails and she gregariously shared the stories of time with Grandma. Her parents were wonderful to acknowledge and support her by giving her the appropriate attention filled with "ahhhs" and "wows." She still is a little unhappy about all the attention the baby is getting from her mommy, but she will adjust and she loves helping with the baby most of the time.

While this change in Hailey's life may seem small; it is big for her! If we were to really pay attention, we would know that many of the people around us are having their own "change experience" that is big to them. I once heard something that I have never forgotten, "Treat the person you meet as if they are in trouble and you will be right more than one half the time." After hearing this comment, I really started to pay greater attention to others and I have found that it tends to be more true than not. Think about those you know of right now that are worried sick about a teenager, those that are dealing with sick parents and who may need to be put in a nursing home, those with family members who have cancer or serious health problems, or who are dealing with the loss of a job or a failing marriage for starters. When we choose to really see each other, we see people doing the best they can with very difficult changes and difficulties in their lives.

Regardless of the kind of the change experienced, good or deemed not good, change is hard and sometimes life is difficult! As leaders, parents and friends there are a couple of things that help people get through change and difficulty a little more smoothly:

1. Be truthful about the situation. This is especially true if you have greater perspective or information. Delusion only prolongs the pain. (Baby Gavin is living at your house with you!)

2. Show individualized consideration. Good leaders and parents (who are also leaders) pay special attention to each person who is in their stewardship. Individualized consideration primarily consists of two important things; listening and mentoring.

• Listening: Listening is never over rated. Proverbs in the King James Version Bible says, "Incline thine ear unto wisdom, and apply thine heart to understanding." This suggests that we gain wisdom by working to understand with our hearts as we listen. Making it safe for others to share their feelings, fears and vexations helps them to be more open and honest, acts as a diffuser for pent up emotion, and in the end, engenders trust and confidence.


• Mentoring: This consideration is given to individuals by providing opportunities to be a part of the change and enabling growth and development that facilitates higher levels of human potential. (You are an amazing big sister and you are so good with Gavin! You went on a date with Grandma all by yourself and got a pedicure - that is really a big girl! Do you want to help wash Gavin's hands?)
  

As for the changes in my life....I hate them! :)

Perfectionism: Virtue or Vice?

Being a perfectionist is a good trait, right? You get things done "the right way." Nothing gets by you or goes unnoticed. You can make anything better. Your projects are always meticulously planned and implemented. You personally ensure there are no mistakes. What could be wrong about that? Nothing except the “cost” to yourself and to others; rarely discussed, the dark side of perfectionism.

While thinking about this post, interestingly enough, I was viewing a program on the history channel this weekend about “the 7 deadly sins” and in the discussion of “sloth” perfectionism was mentioned; perfectionism leads to procrastination, which in turn leads to sloth. Procrastination occurs of course, because if it has to be done perfectly. We rationalize: I need to ensure it can be done with my proper attention, or I need to ensure I get complete agreement and all input possible to the idea from my boss (or my spouse or whomever) before moving forward, or I need to read a particular essay or email over and over again and/or wait until I have all the latest information before sending it, or I can’t make a decision until I am sure that I have all the research available on the topic. The rationalizations are endless.

On a practical level the cost to perfection is worth considering:

1. You’re wasting your time and other’s time. Is it really necessary to triple and quadruple check everything? Is it worth having everyone wait for your approval? Is it worth having others re-do something because it is not exactly what you would have done? Productivity and leadership are suffering at your expense; as a perfectionist, this should trouble you.

2. You’re not getting things done that could get done! Have you considered the things you don’t do, the things you don’t pursue or you procrastinate doing because you’re worried you won’t do them right?

3. Perfection is unattainable. This is obvious. But somehow easy to forget. Repeat it often!

4. This is really important: Perfectionism is primarily motivated by fear. Looking perfect and maintaining its facade becomes about “not being found out and superiority.” It’s making you scared of mistakes, of opening up, of being human. This is holding you back from what you really want to achieve. Start to fear regret of missed opportunities and deep relationship more than mistakes.

At Maxcomm, we sometimes use the contrast below to help fellow perfectionist see the difference between maintaining the “image” of perfection, because in the end that is all perfection can be in this life – an image, and manifesting potential. The quality of our life experience is dramatically different from each frame.

Perfection------------------------------------------Manifesting Potential

(Image)---------------------------------------------(Being human)__________________________________________________

No room for error-----------------------------------Learn from mistakes

Motivated by FEAR of loss ---------------------Motivated by love for opportunities

Fear of Failure---------------------------------------Excitement/fun/humor

Calculated safety-------------------------------------Calculated risks

Judging/Comparing----------------------------------Support/Acceptance

Controlling ----------------------------------------Extend gifts and influence

Bottleneck/procrastination---------------Create opportunities and enable action

Results only (perceived by me)-------Results/Journey/Relationships/Experience

Unfold your own myth, without complicated explanation,
so everyone will understand the passage,
we have opened you.
Your legs will get heavy and tired. Then comes the moment
of feeling the wings you’ve grown,
Lifting.
---Rumi

Fully Living: Life and Leadership

In times of uncertainty, it can be easy to "cocoon in" and take a "wait and see" approach to living. While it can be wise to "wait and see" in the matter of "things;" how a stock is doing before investing, for example. It is important to remember that while "things" can wait, be postponed or put on the back-burner, this is not so with the significant actions of our life; our character, our integrity, our leadership.

The opportunity to show up and make a difference when it is most needed is what a full life and leading is all about. Sometimes our fear drives us, in turbulent times, to sit when we need to stand, to be silent when we need to speak up, to sell out a colleague because it feels less risky, to take credit for a team members work because we need the job security; you name your temptation. All of it keeps us from our best self. Our best weapon against fear is belief; belief in our self and belief in a universe that has supported us to this very step, and why not another?

So, to the experience of fully living - our life and our leadership potential. This poem by Dawna Markova:

I WILL NOT DIE AN UNLIVED LIFE BY DAWNA MARKOVA

I will not die an unlived life.
I will not live in fear
of falling or catching fire.
I choose to inhabit my days,
to allow my living to open me,
to make me less afraid,
more accessible;
to loosen my heart
until it becomes a wing,
a torch, a promise.
I choose to risk my significance,
to live so that which came to me as seed
goes to the next as blossom,
and that which came to me as blossom, goes on as fruit.

How much is a Trillion?

David Schwartz's is a math whiz and writer. He wrote a children's book to help kids wrap their heads around big numbers; the best seller: How Much Is a Million? 20th Anniversary Edition (Reading Rainbow Book

One of the way he teaches is in exchanging dollars for time. This one, that my husband shared with me, blew me away! With a recent 3.5 Trillion dollar approval by the house and senate yesterday, it is TIME we started thinking about what the ramifications are and David's way of teaching provides the insight.

One million seconds = 11½ days
One billion seconds = 32 years

Now for the whopper...Guess how many years one trillion seconds translates to?

One trillion seconds = 32,000 years

We are getting somewhat used to the "Trillion dollar" figure. As responsible citizens it would be good for all of us to make sure we know what the exponential consequences are to each trillion that gets thrown around!

As always, I look forward to your thoughts and reactions!

Personal Peace

"It is a curious commentary on human nature that men who cry for peace look upon peace as something that may be picked as an apple from a tree, something that lies about within easy reach of humanity. If I picked an apple from my tree, I first planted the tree, cared for it, watered it, brought it to maturity. Then in due time I may have fruit. So it is with peace..."

John A Widstoe

This thought, written in 1946, fits our world even more perfectly today, perhaps. It seems many are looking to others, to forces outside, to bring "peace." Unfortunately as a general public, we have gotten away from some of the simple lessons that growing trees, gardens, or running farms teach us; that the harvest comes with hard work. So it is with our internal life, to consistently experience peace and fulfillment is a result sustained only by our choices, actions and thoughts.

Here are some questions to ponder:

(Note: One of the ways we sustain peace and personal alignment is by taking time regularly to ponder and reflect)

• How can I activate the feeling of peace more fully in my life (yes, even work life)?
• Would others say my interactions with them are uplifting and grounding? How often?
• Do my activities and pursuits (work/home/other) provide fulfillment and personal peace? Why or Why not?

"Who can open the door who does not reach for the latch?" -- M. Oliver

PS: You would be surprised by the number of people who read this blog and who also read the comments. Comments enrich us all, so don't be shy! Keep the conversation going...

Lessons on Leadership

A few days ago I cam across a new HBR article (April 2009) that is a fantastic lesson in leadership, called aptly enough, Lessons in Leadership From President Lincoln. Interviewed for the article was my very favorite historian, Doris Kearns Goodwin, who also wrote Team of Rivals, an account of President Abraham Lincoln’s leadership during the Civil War.

What follows is the "bottom-line" for those of you who want a preview, don't have time to read the article, or who would like the list of things to think about and act upon. For the whole article with wonderful Lincoln examples go to: http://ping.fm/MenXy

Surround yourself with strong people who feel free to question and argue with you. "Lincoln surrounded himself with people, including his rivals, who had strong egos and high ambitions; who felt free to question his authority; and who were unafraid to argue with him.

Have the confidence to put the best people by your side. "Lincoln came to power when the nation was in peril, and he had the intelligence, and the self-confidence, to know that he needed the best people by his side, people who were leaders in their own right and who were very aware of their own strengths. That’s an important insight whether you’re the leader of a country or the CEO of a company."

Share the credit for success and shoulder the blame. "You also have to be able to figure out how to share credit for your success with your inner team so that they feel a part of a mission. Basically, you want to create a reservoir of good feeling, and that involves not only acknowledging your errors but even shouldering the blame for the failures of some of your subordinates. Again and again, Lincoln took responsibility for what he did, and he shared responsibility for the mistakes of others, and so people became very loyal to him."

Know how to connect with the larger audience. It is "essential to know how to connect to the larger public. In Lincoln's case this was through speeches "that that were filled with such poetry and clarity that people felt they were watching him think and that he was telling them the truth." For today's leader, it is vital to lead across, up and down and use a variety of communication mediums. Much more important than sounding good, (although knowing how to present is important) is authenticity and value. Your leadership and goals will only gain traction if people see you as honest, truthful and authentic and your goals as contributing to the greater good.

Learn how to relax and replenish. "As a leader you need to know how to relax so that you can replenish your energies for the struggles facing you tomorrow. Lincoln went to the theater often."

Possess emotional intelligence. "What Lincoln had, it seems to me, was an extraordinary amount of emotional intelligence." I have seen more than my share of leaders stopped in their tracks due to lack of interpersonal skills, lack of self awareness, and an inability to acknowledge mistakes.

Take a look around you and evaluate how you are doing against the above criteria as a leader. It's worth considering.

Do I Dare?

"The most important thing in the world is to be willing to give up who you are for who you might become." - Nachman Bratzlav

I recently learned that Louise Hays was 58 years old when she published her best selling book, You can Heal your Life. Her life experience would bring her to her own healing, and her healing would bring her to her life.

In a nut shell, she was born to a poor mother, in October 1926, who then married a violent man; Louise's stepfather. When she was about 5, she was raped by a neighbor. At 15 she dropped out of high school without a diploma, became pregnant and, on her 16th birthday, gave up her newborn baby girl for adoption. In 1977 she was diagnosed with cervical cancer, and she determined that its cause was her unwillingness to let go of resentment over her childhood abuse and rape. She could have been dismissed as "crazy" but she was determined to exercise her own power to heal herself. In 1976, Hay wrote a small pamphlet called, “Heal Your Body”. This pamphlet was extended into her book, You Can Heal Your Life, published in 1984. As of 2009, it is still on New York Times best sellers list! As if that wasn't enough, a year later, she started a publishing house (Hay Publishing House) which is now one of the primary publishers for people like Deepak Chopra and prominent others.

Why write about this? Beyond that it is impressive, I hope it is inspirational; personally. It is to me and quite frankly, we need a little inspiration in a time when it feels like things are breaking a part. This life story is but one example of many that it is never too late to recognize and act upon inner strength and wisdom. It is this wisdom and resilience that makes dreams come true in America. What falls a part must fall a part, it is the creative process and it is inescapable. That does not mean that we need to fall apart. Wisdom is accessible and we have the power to act upon it or turn from it.

"Over and over again, you are called to the realm of adventure; you are called to new horizons. Each time, there is the same problem: do I dare?"--Joseph Campbell

“Acquire the courage to believe in yourself. Many of the things that you have been taught were at one time the radical ideas of individuals who had the courage to believe what their own hearts and minds told them was true, rather than accept the common beliefs of their day.” -- Chin Ning Chu

Whenever you see a successful business, someone once made a courageous decision."

-- Peter F. Drucker

What Edward Liddy Did Right

Every now again there is a well-written post that is worth passing along. This is such a post.

If you didn't see Edward Liddy last week being questioned by members of congress, it wasn't a pretty site. However, CEO Liddy, who is making exactly $1.00 dollar this year, did as well as any leader in a no-win situation could do. While I cannot excuse AIG for massive mismanagement, and congress continues to exacerbate the situation, what Liddy did is a classic example of how to deliver an unpopular message in front of a hostile crowd.

How AIG's Edward Liddy Lived to Fight Another Day

Great Necessities

In 1790, Abigail Adams wrote Thomas Jefferson stating that,

“Great necessities call forth great leaders.”

The mandate for leaders today to smartly navigate through the turbulent situations we face, (politically, globally, financially, organizationally, institutionally, etc) is not an undertaking for the faint of heart.

The success and health of an organization or a nation or the world (if you want to go big) is intrinsically tied to the growth and development of those who have the privilege of leading it. Leaders must be willing themselves to be open, humble and wise in seeking answers, broadly and deeply, so that issues can be elevated to a place where the answers are holistic, systemic and achieve the desired results. This is a leader's task that requires true leadership!

I have been so disappointed recently by the unchanging "conversation" in our politics, regardless of political party. As leaders in our own organizations and as citizens we can change the quality and breadth of the conversation but we have to be willing to get involved where we can and learn about how change really happens. Scapegoating may be satisfying, but it generally does not create the results needed and it prevents the truth and holistic answers from emerging in a timely fashion when action is most critical.

Given the challenges, there are a couple of books I recommend:

The book, Influencer: The Power to Change Anything, is a great book for learning how to get to the real levers of change in any situation. It is helpful as a leader or a social activist to understand that there are vital levers to change. The authors recount, "by changing just a few vital behaviors" they were able to eliminate the Guinea worm disease that was killing people at epidemic rates in small villages all across West Asia including many Sub-Saharan villages so decentralized that the task should have been impossible!

For anyone interested in real and substantial change this is a great read.

For those of you who are actively involved in organizational change, Theory U: Leading from the Future as It Emerges takes a deeper look at how real time systemic change tied to individual/leader development is critical for today's environment and challenges. I found it to be very thought provoking; a worthwhile read.

Personal Transformations

"The real act of discovery consists not in finding new lands but seeing with new eyes."
Marcel Proust

I just finished a book entitled, Quantum Change: When Epiphanies and Sudden Insights Transform Ordinary Lives.

What is facinating about this book is the "jump" in adult development that can and does occur through what the scientists call, Quantum Change. In some ways it flys in the face of the other article posted earlier, Change or Die (See post below). Quantum Change experiences are those experiences that literally re-orient the way we see the world and we feel as if "everything" about the way we viewed ourselves, our lives, or our values is now different."

The main pre-cursors that seems to trigger a significant Quantum Change experience, as stated by the authors, are one or more of the following:

• Breaking Point: Reaching the end of our rope and then it snaps
• Deep Discrepency: A deep conflict or discrepency between where we are and where we could be, how things are and how we want them to be, how we are and how we want to be...
• Personal Maturation: Kohlbergs work on moral development and Susan Cook-Grueter's work fit nicely here. This is identified as a "personal integration, a consolidation of wholeness or identity" that results in a discrete jump in development.
• Particular Person: This is interesting in that intuitive types are more proun to quantum change experiences than sensing types. What Jung calls "knowing by the unconscious." It is also worth noting that these experiences can tend to come to those who search for their personal meaning or purpose. "Perhaps it is particularly those who seek deeper meaning who find - or are found - by quantum change."
• Sacred Encounter: What is most facinating here is that these scientists are acknowledging a spiritual realm in our material existence. Those interviewed had a quantum change experience after some kind of conscious decision to be open to the possibility of another realm of knowing. (Crying out for help, prayer, etc)

The researchers quantified a before and after "quantum change" experience in terms of their life values - it was different for men and for women and the shifts are intriquing:

_______MEN___________________________WOMEN_______ Before ................After ..........................Before .................After
1 Wealth ..............>Spirituality .................1 Family .................>Growth
2 Adventure ........>Personal Peace ............2 Independence ......>Self-esteem
3 Achievement ....>Family.........................3 Career..................>Spirituality

I have had a few "Quantum Change Transformations" and found this research very revealing. I would love to hear your thoughts to this post or the book!

Discovery: What's right for me?

I had the opportunity to talk with Wayne Dyer last week and his thoughts caused me, again, to think about how I can live in continual higher purpose and the paths that get me there. In the meantime, I have had a few questions from others who read this blog regarding life's paths: "How do I find the path for me?" and "Is there really a right or wrong path?" I'd like to provide just a quick thought on both of these, knowing that there will be more to say and greater perspective to add -- I hope only to start the internal dialogue.

Generally, the feeling of "there is something more or something missing" is a sign that you have not found yet the path you desire and of greatest contribution. I say "you desire" because it is all about your inner voice and no one else. As for how we "find it" perhaps poetry will provide food for thought. Poetry lives in the wellspring of the human spirit and therefore can call forth our own inarticulate knowings or the fire at our center without platitudes or pretense:

"to live is to work, and the only thing which lasts

is the work; start then, turn to the work."

"Throw yourself like a seed as you walk, and into your own field,

don't turn your face for that would be to turn it to death,

and do not let the past weigh down your motion."

"Leave whats alive in the furrow, whats dead in yourself,

for life does not move in the same way as a group of clouds:

from your work you will be able one day to gather yourself."

Miguel de Unamuno

We find our path and paths by "doing the work" -- most of which is in listening, paying attention and then in moving forward.

This leads us to the final question, "Is there a wrong path for me?" Again, only you can determine the answer. If you have had urgings or inklings of something calling you to pay attention and you have turned away, then it may be, you are on the wrong path for you or at least a path that will not bring you the most fulfillment, happiness and joy.

"One day you finally knew what you had to do, and began..."

(It is one thing to know what you need to do; it is another to actually begin doing it)

"Well, there is time left - fields everywhere invite you into them.

And who will care, who will chide you if you wander away

from wherever you are, to look for your soul?

Quickly, then, get up, put on your coat, leave your desk!...

Listen, are you breathing just a little and calling it a life?"

Mary Oliver

You are the author of your life, and only you know what you must do and must not do! One thing is for sure for me,

"I am not done with my changes" Stanley Kunitz

Change or Die

I came across a great article in Fast Company that may be of interest to those of you who are intrigued by variables in change and sustainability; personal or organizational. The article below describes the challenges to bringing about personal behavioral change and the neuro-cognitive roots involved:

Change or Die: "If you look at people after coronary-artery bypass grafting two years later, 90% of them have not changed their lifestyle," Miller said. "And that's been studied over and over and over again. And so we're missing some link in there. Even though they know they have a very bad disease and they know they should change their lifestyle, for whatever reason, they can't."

I would appreciate your thoughts, comments and discussions on this! Enjoy!

Rest Stops

There’s a reason there are rest stops on highways, warming huts halfway down the mountain, breaks at ports of call and stopovers during migration. On every journey, there’s a need to remove oneself from the path and rest beneath the shade of trees. This moment of rest and renewal allows us to gather our energies; to look around and survey the territory ahead; to reflect on what went before. Committing to a journey does not happen only in that moment that we initially start off, amidst feelings of excitement, anxiousness and uncertainty. It happens each step of the way and to pause, however briefly, provides an opportunity to gain some perspective on the challenges and possibilities that lie ahead. As the journey continues, there is also an increased understanding, an alertness, and a better sense of the terrain ahead; of the trail already blazed. These pauses offer us a chance to reflect – to think about the questions and answers that inform the way we behave. It is inherently an act of leadership to be conscious of the way we are in the world and the way we impact others.

We are meaning seekers - the act of making meaning is a uniquely human ability. If it is not you that makes meaning of the precious time and energy you choose to spend, then you surrender that autonomy to someone else less able because no one in this life can be you as well as you can. It is your journey after all and your opportunity to make a difference not only for yourself but for others

Take some time today to reflect upon the meaning you attribute to your life and/or the activities of your life - you might be surprised to find that some "rest" from the noise might actually bring the nugget of clarity, wisdom or courage you were in need of but could not access with the radio, computer alerts, phone ringing or TV blaring in the background!

"The purpose of life is a life of purpose." Robert Byrne

Drinking Life In

"When it's over, I want to say: all my life I was a bride married to amazement. I was the bridegroom, taking the world into my arms. When it is over, I don't want to wonder if I have made of my life something particular, and real. I don't want to find myself sighing and frightened, or full of argument. I don't want to end up simply having visited this world."

Mary Oliver

It is not uncommon for us to be so preoccupied with what is wrong in life or in the world that we simply ignore and take for granted what is beautiful, precious and deserves our wonder and gratitude. Leaders who are filled with curiosity and wonder tend also to be most visionary and passionate about their life's purpose and their areas of stewardship. Interesting!

One Last Post for the Month on Developing Greater Authenticity

Authenticity begins with self-awareness. One of the ways we gain insight about how we are showing up is through enabling feedback from others. (See Post of February 19) Inevitably however, self-awareness does not come so much from what others say as it does from how much we receive of what others say.

It is still amazing to me how many times I want to say when confronted with my own behavior, "No, I don't" or "It was you that took that wrongly" or "You just misunderstand me." This year I had the wonderful experience of going to a 5 day intensive coaching session where I was also on the hot seat over and over again. It was startling to me how quickly others, who did not know me, could pick out my defense mechanisms and get it right on the head! Personally, I think it is just not right that others can do that so quickly! However, the real point is that they can and do; often seeing us more clearly than we see ourselves! (Again, bummer)

In conjunction to opening to this other view, greater self-awareness comes also through our willingness to take an inner journey. These quotes may describe it best:

“We don’t receive wisdom; we must discover it for ourselves after a journey no one can take for us or spare us.” - Marcel Proust

“No revolution in outer things is possible without prior revolution in one’s inner way of being. Whatever change you aspire to in your affairs must be preceded by a change of heart … When this spiritual poise is achieved within, magnificent things are possible without.”

The Book of Changes, Chapter 40

This inner work can be exciting and also somewhat irritating, but I have never met a person yet that entered the journey toward greater peace, integration and performance that regretted it. All of us on this earthly journey, for the most part, are trying to make the most of it. Many of us find ourselves hopeful that as we age we also have some wisdom to show for it.

As a nation we desperately desire that wisdom and moral character be demonstrated by our political leaders. We also crave it from our leaders at our place of work. Clearly, becoming a leader who others want to follow is not over-rated. We can start by gaining inner clarity about who we are and what we stand for and then behaving in consistent fashion with what we espouse. What we do and what we think about consistently determines what we are and what we will become and in the end, how others experience us. When we can consistently show up in the same manner regardless of audience, power structure, and situation we have developed widened capacity towards authenticity and integrity as seen by our self and as seen by others. This congruence enables our capacity and capability for deepened relationships and better results, as a person and as a leader.

A classic HBR article by Drucker may be of interest: http://hbr.harvardbusiness.org/2005/01/managing-oneself/ar/1

"As a single footstep will not make a path on the earth, so a single thought will not make a pathway in your mind. To make a deep physical path, we walk again and again. To make a deep mental path, we must think over and over the kinds of thoughts we wish to dominate our lives." Henry Thoreau

A question to tinker with:

• What kind of thoughts dominate my mind? And, are they the thoughts with which I want deep pathways?

"It's a sad day when you find out that it's not accident or time or fortune, but just yourself that kept things from you."

Lillian Hellman

Miracle on the Hudson and Values Based Leadership

My husband’s brother, who is a 30-year veteran airline captain forwarded this to us last night. I know many of you have been captured by the "Miracle on the Hudson” and this letter from Sully may even be more remarkable. I was struck by the natural leadership that showed up in what he had to say. This is a wonderful example of values-based leadership applied in a crisis by a leader who was 100% responsible for those within his stewardship.
Enjoy it!

Association Representing the Pilots of US Airways
USAPA Special Update: Flight 1549 February 13, 2009

Fellow Pilots,

The following article written by Captain Sullenberger will appear in next week's issue of Newsweek.

"All I Wanted Was to Talk to My Family, and Get Some Dry Socks"

From the magazine issue dated Feb 23, 2009

“The night of the accident, after we'd safely accounted for all 155 people on the airplane, left the hospital, finally reached the hotel—the pilots' union and the NYPD whisking us away—I remember thinking that my needs were very simple. I'd lost all my belongings; I'd had the most harrowing three minutes of my life. All I really wanted was to talk to my family, and get some dry socks. It's been a month since the airplane I piloted, US Airways Flight 1549, made an emergency landing in the Hudson River.
Since then, the attention given to me and my crew—I'm trying to resist, somewhat unsuccessfully, everyone's attempt to make this about fewer than five people—has obviously been immense. But I still don't think of myself as a celebrity. It's been a difficult adjustment, initially because of the "hero" mantle that was pushed in my direction. I felt for a long time that that wasn't an appropriate word. As my wife, Lorrie, pointed out on 60 Minutes, a hero is someone who decides to run into a burning building. This was different—this was a situation that was thrust upon us. I didn't choose to do what I did. That was why initially I decided that if someone offered me the gift of their thankfulness, I should accept it gratefully—but then not take it on as my own.
As time went by, though, I was better able to put everything in perspective and realize how this event had touched people's lives, how ready they were for good news, how much they wanted to feel hopeful again. Partly it's because this occurred as the U.S. presidency was changing hands. We've had a worldwide economic downturn, and people were confused, fearful and just so ready for good news. They wanted to feel reassured, I think, that all the things we value, all our ideals, still exist—that they're still there, even if they're not always evident.”
As Leaders, we need to be aware of and respond to the need that Sully is talking about. All of the people in our organizations are experiencing what he is describing and his anecdote is right on:
Leaders need to touch people’s lives personally. People need some good news People need to feel hopeful. In times of significant change and turbulence, people need to know that the values we believe in and the ideals we hold to still exist. When I was very young, my father impressed upon me that a commander is responsible for the welfare of everyone in his care. Any commander who got someone hurt because of lack of foresight or poor judgment had committed an unforgivable sin. My father was a dentist in the Navy, serving in Hawaii and San Diego from 1941 to 1945. He never saw combat, but he knew many who did. In the military, you get drilled into you the idea that you are responsible for every aspect of everyone's welfare.
During every minute of the flight, I was confident I could solve the next problem. My first officer, Jeff Skiles, and I did what airline pilots do: we followed our training, and our philosophy of life. We valued every life on that airplane and knew it was our responsibility to try to save each one, in spite of the sudden and complete failure of our aircraft. We never gave up. Having a plan enabled us to keep our hope alive. Perhaps in a similar fashion, people who are in their own personal crises—a pink slip, a foreclosure—can be reminded that no matter how dire the circumstance, or how little time you have to deal with it, further action is always possible. There's always a way out of even the tightest spot. You can survive.
Even though we had a successful outcome, it's human nature to wonder about the what-ifs. The second-guessing was much more frequent, and intense, in the first few days at night, when I couldn't sleep. It was hard to shut my brain off and get back to sleep. Sometimes I didn't, I couldn't. It was part of the post-traumatic stress that we have all felt, that each of the crew members has reported to each other.
It's funny—for the first two weeks after the accident, Jeff kept telling me, "I just want my old life back." But the other day he finally said for the first time, "You know, this is OK. I'm learning to like this. This is good." I think he's coming to terms with what's happened. He realizes that he's entitled to the attention. That he can still be true to himself; that accepting it isn't selling out.
Besides the outpouring of support from the passengers, the most touching sentiments I have received have been from other pilots. They tell me that because of the years of economic difficulties faced by the airline industry and its employees and the decreased respect for the profession, they have not felt proud to go to work—some of them for decades. Now, they tell me, they do. And they thank me for that. They thank us, the crew, because we've reminded people what all of us do every day, what's really at stake. They feel like they've regained some of the respect they'd lost.
What's next? I will return to flying for my airline—when I'm ready. I'm not sure when that will be; probably a few months. I still haven't had many nights at home. My family and I are trying hard to remain true to ourselves and not let this change us, but there's a steep learning curve. The trajectory of our lives has changed forever. And we're determined to make good come out of this in every way that we can.”
Capt. Sullenberger and his crew saved all 155 lives aboard US Airways Flight 1549.
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