Perfectionism: Virtue or Vice?

Being a perfectionist is a good trait, right? You get things done "the right way." Nothing gets by you or goes unnoticed. You can make anything better. Your projects are always meticulously planned and implemented. You personally ensure there are no mistakes. What could be wrong about that? Nothing except the “cost” to yourself and to others; rarely discussed, the dark side of perfectionism.

While thinking about this post, interestingly enough, I was viewing a program on the history channel this weekend about “the 7 deadly sins” and in the discussion of “sloth” perfectionism was mentioned; perfectionism leads to procrastination, which in turn leads to sloth. Procrastination occurs of course, because if it has to be done perfectly. We rationalize: I need to ensure it can be done with my proper attention, or I need to ensure I get complete agreement and all input possible to the idea from my boss (or my spouse or whomever) before moving forward, or I need to read a particular essay or email over and over again and/or wait until I have all the latest information before sending it, or I can’t make a decision until I am sure that I have all the research available on the topic. The rationalizations are endless.

On a practical level the cost to perfection is worth considering:

1. You’re wasting your time and other’s time. Is it really necessary to triple and quadruple check everything? Is it worth having everyone wait for your approval? Is it worth having others re-do something because it is not exactly what you would have done? Productivity and leadership are suffering at your expense; as a perfectionist, this should trouble you.

2. You’re not getting things done that could get done! Have you considered the things you don’t do, the things you don’t pursue or you procrastinate doing because you’re worried you won’t do them right?

3. Perfection is unattainable. This is obvious. But somehow easy to forget. Repeat it often!

4. This is really important: Perfectionism is primarily motivated by fear. Looking perfect and maintaining its facade becomes about “not being found out and superiority.” It’s making you scared of mistakes, of opening up, of being human. This is holding you back from what you really want to achieve. Start to fear regret of missed opportunities and deep relationship more than mistakes.

At Maxcomm, we sometimes use the contrast below to help fellow perfectionist see the difference between maintaining the “image” of perfection, because in the end that is all perfection can be in this life – an image, and manifesting potential. The quality of our life experience is dramatically different from each frame.

Perfection------------------------------------------Manifesting Potential

(Image)---------------------------------------------(Being human)__________________________________________________

No room for error-----------------------------------Learn from mistakes

Motivated by FEAR of loss ---------------------Motivated by love for opportunities

Fear of Failure---------------------------------------Excitement/fun/humor

Calculated safety-------------------------------------Calculated risks

Judging/Comparing----------------------------------Support/Acceptance

Controlling ----------------------------------------Extend gifts and influence

Bottleneck/procrastination---------------Create opportunities and enable action

Results only (perceived by me)-------Results/Journey/Relationships/Experience

Unfold your own myth, without complicated explanation,
so everyone will understand the passage,
we have opened you.
Your legs will get heavy and tired. Then comes the moment
of feeling the wings you’ve grown,
Lifting.
---Rumi