Personal Peace

"It is a curious commentary on human nature that men who cry for peace look upon peace as something that may be picked as an apple from a tree, something that lies about within easy reach of humanity. If I picked an apple from my tree, I first planted the tree, cared for it, watered it, brought it to maturity. Then in due time I may have fruit. So it is with peace..."

John A Widstoe

This thought, written in 1946, fits our world even more perfectly today, perhaps. It seems many are looking to others, to forces outside, to bring "peace." Unfortunately as a general public, we have gotten away from some of the simple lessons that growing trees, gardens, or running farms teach us; that the harvest comes with hard work. So it is with our internal life, to consistently experience peace and fulfillment is a result sustained only by our choices, actions and thoughts.

Here are some questions to ponder:

(Note: One of the ways we sustain peace and personal alignment is by taking time regularly to ponder and reflect)

• How can I activate the feeling of peace more fully in my life (yes, even work life)?
• Would others say my interactions with them are uplifting and grounding? How often?
• Do my activities and pursuits (work/home/other) provide fulfillment and personal peace? Why or Why not?

"Who can open the door who does not reach for the latch?" -- M. Oliver

PS: You would be surprised by the number of people who read this blog and who also read the comments. Comments enrich us all, so don't be shy! Keep the conversation going...

Lessons on Leadership

A few days ago I cam across a new HBR article (April 2009) that is a fantastic lesson in leadership, called aptly enough, Lessons in Leadership From President Lincoln. Interviewed for the article was my very favorite historian, Doris Kearns Goodwin, who also wrote Team of Rivals, an account of President Abraham Lincoln’s leadership during the Civil War.

What follows is the "bottom-line" for those of you who want a preview, don't have time to read the article, or who would like the list of things to think about and act upon. For the whole article with wonderful Lincoln examples go to: http://ping.fm/MenXy

Surround yourself with strong people who feel free to question and argue with you. "Lincoln surrounded himself with people, including his rivals, who had strong egos and high ambitions; who felt free to question his authority; and who were unafraid to argue with him.

Have the confidence to put the best people by your side. "Lincoln came to power when the nation was in peril, and he had the intelligence, and the self-confidence, to know that he needed the best people by his side, people who were leaders in their own right and who were very aware of their own strengths. That’s an important insight whether you’re the leader of a country or the CEO of a company."

Share the credit for success and shoulder the blame. "You also have to be able to figure out how to share credit for your success with your inner team so that they feel a part of a mission. Basically, you want to create a reservoir of good feeling, and that involves not only acknowledging your errors but even shouldering the blame for the failures of some of your subordinates. Again and again, Lincoln took responsibility for what he did, and he shared responsibility for the mistakes of others, and so people became very loyal to him."

Know how to connect with the larger audience. It is "essential to know how to connect to the larger public. In Lincoln's case this was through speeches "that that were filled with such poetry and clarity that people felt they were watching him think and that he was telling them the truth." For today's leader, it is vital to lead across, up and down and use a variety of communication mediums. Much more important than sounding good, (although knowing how to present is important) is authenticity and value. Your leadership and goals will only gain traction if people see you as honest, truthful and authentic and your goals as contributing to the greater good.

Learn how to relax and replenish. "As a leader you need to know how to relax so that you can replenish your energies for the struggles facing you tomorrow. Lincoln went to the theater often."

Possess emotional intelligence. "What Lincoln had, it seems to me, was an extraordinary amount of emotional intelligence." I have seen more than my share of leaders stopped in their tracks due to lack of interpersonal skills, lack of self awareness, and an inability to acknowledge mistakes.

Take a look around you and evaluate how you are doing against the above criteria as a leader. It's worth considering.

Do I Dare?

"The most important thing in the world is to be willing to give up who you are for who you might become." - Nachman Bratzlav

I recently learned that Louise Hays was 58 years old when she published her best selling book, You can Heal your Life. Her life experience would bring her to her own healing, and her healing would bring her to her life.

In a nut shell, she was born to a poor mother, in October 1926, who then married a violent man; Louise's stepfather. When she was about 5, she was raped by a neighbor. At 15 she dropped out of high school without a diploma, became pregnant and, on her 16th birthday, gave up her newborn baby girl for adoption. In 1977 she was diagnosed with cervical cancer, and she determined that its cause was her unwillingness to let go of resentment over her childhood abuse and rape. She could have been dismissed as "crazy" but she was determined to exercise her own power to heal herself. In 1976, Hay wrote a small pamphlet called, “Heal Your Body”. This pamphlet was extended into her book, You Can Heal Your Life, published in 1984. As of 2009, it is still on New York Times best sellers list! As if that wasn't enough, a year later, she started a publishing house (Hay Publishing House) which is now one of the primary publishers for people like Deepak Chopra and prominent others.

Why write about this? Beyond that it is impressive, I hope it is inspirational; personally. It is to me and quite frankly, we need a little inspiration in a time when it feels like things are breaking a part. This life story is but one example of many that it is never too late to recognize and act upon inner strength and wisdom. It is this wisdom and resilience that makes dreams come true in America. What falls a part must fall a part, it is the creative process and it is inescapable. That does not mean that we need to fall apart. Wisdom is accessible and we have the power to act upon it or turn from it.

"Over and over again, you are called to the realm of adventure; you are called to new horizons. Each time, there is the same problem: do I dare?"--Joseph Campbell

“Acquire the courage to believe in yourself. Many of the things that you have been taught were at one time the radical ideas of individuals who had the courage to believe what their own hearts and minds told them was true, rather than accept the common beliefs of their day.” -- Chin Ning Chu

Whenever you see a successful business, someone once made a courageous decision."

-- Peter F. Drucker

What Edward Liddy Did Right

Every now again there is a well-written post that is worth passing along. This is such a post.

If you didn't see Edward Liddy last week being questioned by members of congress, it wasn't a pretty site. However, CEO Liddy, who is making exactly $1.00 dollar this year, did as well as any leader in a no-win situation could do. While I cannot excuse AIG for massive mismanagement, and congress continues to exacerbate the situation, what Liddy did is a classic example of how to deliver an unpopular message in front of a hostile crowd.

How AIG's Edward Liddy Lived to Fight Another Day

Great Necessities

In 1790, Abigail Adams wrote Thomas Jefferson stating that,

“Great necessities call forth great leaders.”

The mandate for leaders today to smartly navigate through the turbulent situations we face, (politically, globally, financially, organizationally, institutionally, etc) is not an undertaking for the faint of heart.

The success and health of an organization or a nation or the world (if you want to go big) is intrinsically tied to the growth and development of those who have the privilege of leading it. Leaders must be willing themselves to be open, humble and wise in seeking answers, broadly and deeply, so that issues can be elevated to a place where the answers are holistic, systemic and achieve the desired results. This is a leader's task that requires true leadership!

I have been so disappointed recently by the unchanging "conversation" in our politics, regardless of political party. As leaders in our own organizations and as citizens we can change the quality and breadth of the conversation but we have to be willing to get involved where we can and learn about how change really happens. Scapegoating may be satisfying, but it generally does not create the results needed and it prevents the truth and holistic answers from emerging in a timely fashion when action is most critical.

Given the challenges, there are a couple of books I recommend:

The book, Influencer: The Power to Change Anything, is a great book for learning how to get to the real levers of change in any situation. It is helpful as a leader or a social activist to understand that there are vital levers to change. The authors recount, "by changing just a few vital behaviors" they were able to eliminate the Guinea worm disease that was killing people at epidemic rates in small villages all across West Asia including many Sub-Saharan villages so decentralized that the task should have been impossible!

For anyone interested in real and substantial change this is a great read.

For those of you who are actively involved in organizational change, Theory U: Leading from the Future as It Emerges takes a deeper look at how real time systemic change tied to individual/leader development is critical for today's environment and challenges. I found it to be very thought provoking; a worthwhile read.

Personal Transformations

"The real act of discovery consists not in finding new lands but seeing with new eyes."
Marcel Proust

I just finished a book entitled, Quantum Change: When Epiphanies and Sudden Insights Transform Ordinary Lives.

What is facinating about this book is the "jump" in adult development that can and does occur through what the scientists call, Quantum Change. In some ways it flys in the face of the other article posted earlier, Change or Die (See post below). Quantum Change experiences are those experiences that literally re-orient the way we see the world and we feel as if "everything" about the way we viewed ourselves, our lives, or our values is now different."

The main pre-cursors that seems to trigger a significant Quantum Change experience, as stated by the authors, are one or more of the following:

• Breaking Point: Reaching the end of our rope and then it snaps
• Deep Discrepency: A deep conflict or discrepency between where we are and where we could be, how things are and how we want them to be, how we are and how we want to be...
• Personal Maturation: Kohlbergs work on moral development and Susan Cook-Grueter's work fit nicely here. This is identified as a "personal integration, a consolidation of wholeness or identity" that results in a discrete jump in development.
• Particular Person: This is interesting in that intuitive types are more proun to quantum change experiences than sensing types. What Jung calls "knowing by the unconscious." It is also worth noting that these experiences can tend to come to those who search for their personal meaning or purpose. "Perhaps it is particularly those who seek deeper meaning who find - or are found - by quantum change."
• Sacred Encounter: What is most facinating here is that these scientists are acknowledging a spiritual realm in our material existence. Those interviewed had a quantum change experience after some kind of conscious decision to be open to the possibility of another realm of knowing. (Crying out for help, prayer, etc)

The researchers quantified a before and after "quantum change" experience in terms of their life values - it was different for men and for women and the shifts are intriquing:

_______MEN___________________________WOMEN_______ Before ................After ..........................Before .................After
1 Wealth ..............>Spirituality .................1 Family .................>Growth
2 Adventure ........>Personal Peace ............2 Independence ......>Self-esteem
3 Achievement ....>Family.........................3 Career..................>Spirituality

I have had a few "Quantum Change Transformations" and found this research very revealing. I would love to hear your thoughts to this post or the book!

Discovery: What's right for me?

I had the opportunity to talk with Wayne Dyer last week and his thoughts caused me, again, to think about how I can live in continual higher purpose and the paths that get me there. In the meantime, I have had a few questions from others who read this blog regarding life's paths: "How do I find the path for me?" and "Is there really a right or wrong path?" I'd like to provide just a quick thought on both of these, knowing that there will be more to say and greater perspective to add -- I hope only to start the internal dialogue.

Generally, the feeling of "there is something more or something missing" is a sign that you have not found yet the path you desire and of greatest contribution. I say "you desire" because it is all about your inner voice and no one else. As for how we "find it" perhaps poetry will provide food for thought. Poetry lives in the wellspring of the human spirit and therefore can call forth our own inarticulate knowings or the fire at our center without platitudes or pretense:

"to live is to work, and the only thing which lasts

is the work; start then, turn to the work."

"Throw yourself like a seed as you walk, and into your own field,

don't turn your face for that would be to turn it to death,

and do not let the past weigh down your motion."

"Leave whats alive in the furrow, whats dead in yourself,

for life does not move in the same way as a group of clouds:

from your work you will be able one day to gather yourself."

Miguel de Unamuno

We find our path and paths by "doing the work" -- most of which is in listening, paying attention and then in moving forward.

This leads us to the final question, "Is there a wrong path for me?" Again, only you can determine the answer. If you have had urgings or inklings of something calling you to pay attention and you have turned away, then it may be, you are on the wrong path for you or at least a path that will not bring you the most fulfillment, happiness and joy.

"One day you finally knew what you had to do, and began..."

(It is one thing to know what you need to do; it is another to actually begin doing it)

"Well, there is time left - fields everywhere invite you into them.

And who will care, who will chide you if you wander away

from wherever you are, to look for your soul?

Quickly, then, get up, put on your coat, leave your desk!...

Listen, are you breathing just a little and calling it a life?"

Mary Oliver

You are the author of your life, and only you know what you must do and must not do! One thing is for sure for me,

"I am not done with my changes" Stanley Kunitz

Change or Die

I came across a great article in Fast Company that may be of interest to those of you who are intrigued by variables in change and sustainability; personal or organizational. The article below describes the challenges to bringing about personal behavioral change and the neuro-cognitive roots involved:

Change or Die: "If you look at people after coronary-artery bypass grafting two years later, 90% of them have not changed their lifestyle," Miller said. "And that's been studied over and over and over again. And so we're missing some link in there. Even though they know they have a very bad disease and they know they should change their lifestyle, for whatever reason, they can't."

I would appreciate your thoughts, comments and discussions on this! Enjoy!

Rest Stops

There’s a reason there are rest stops on highways, warming huts halfway down the mountain, breaks at ports of call and stopovers during migration. On every journey, there’s a need to remove oneself from the path and rest beneath the shade of trees. This moment of rest and renewal allows us to gather our energies; to look around and survey the territory ahead; to reflect on what went before. Committing to a journey does not happen only in that moment that we initially start off, amidst feelings of excitement, anxiousness and uncertainty. It happens each step of the way and to pause, however briefly, provides an opportunity to gain some perspective on the challenges and possibilities that lie ahead. As the journey continues, there is also an increased understanding, an alertness, and a better sense of the terrain ahead; of the trail already blazed. These pauses offer us a chance to reflect – to think about the questions and answers that inform the way we behave. It is inherently an act of leadership to be conscious of the way we are in the world and the way we impact others.

We are meaning seekers - the act of making meaning is a uniquely human ability. If it is not you that makes meaning of the precious time and energy you choose to spend, then you surrender that autonomy to someone else less able because no one in this life can be you as well as you can. It is your journey after all and your opportunity to make a difference not only for yourself but for others

Take some time today to reflect upon the meaning you attribute to your life and/or the activities of your life - you might be surprised to find that some "rest" from the noise might actually bring the nugget of clarity, wisdom or courage you were in need of but could not access with the radio, computer alerts, phone ringing or TV blaring in the background!

"The purpose of life is a life of purpose." Robert Byrne

Drinking Life In

"When it's over, I want to say: all my life I was a bride married to amazement. I was the bridegroom, taking the world into my arms. When it is over, I don't want to wonder if I have made of my life something particular, and real. I don't want to find myself sighing and frightened, or full of argument. I don't want to end up simply having visited this world."

Mary Oliver

It is not uncommon for us to be so preoccupied with what is wrong in life or in the world that we simply ignore and take for granted what is beautiful, precious and deserves our wonder and gratitude. Leaders who are filled with curiosity and wonder tend also to be most visionary and passionate about their life's purpose and their areas of stewardship. Interesting!