One Last Post for the Month on Developing Greater Authenticity

Authenticity begins with self-awareness. One of the ways we gain insight about how we are showing up is through enabling feedback from others. (See Post of February 19) Inevitably however, self-awareness does not come so much from what others say as it does from how much we receive of what others say.

It is still amazing to me how many times I want to say when confronted with my own behavior, "No, I don't" or "It was you that took that wrongly" or "You just misunderstand me." This year I had the wonderful experience of going to a 5 day intensive coaching session where I was also on the hot seat over and over again. It was startling to me how quickly others, who did not know me, could pick out my defense mechanisms and get it right on the head! Personally, I think it is just not right that others can do that so quickly! However, the real point is that they can and do; often seeing us more clearly than we see ourselves! (Again, bummer)

In conjunction to opening to this other view, greater self-awareness comes also through our willingness to take an inner journey. These quotes may describe it best:

“We don’t receive wisdom; we must discover it for ourselves after a journey no one can take for us or spare us.” - Marcel Proust

“No revolution in outer things is possible without prior revolution in one’s inner way of being. Whatever change you aspire to in your affairs must be preceded by a change of heart … When this spiritual poise is achieved within, magnificent things are possible without.”

The Book of Changes, Chapter 40

This inner work can be exciting and also somewhat irritating, but I have never met a person yet that entered the journey toward greater peace, integration and performance that regretted it. All of us on this earthly journey, for the most part, are trying to make the most of it. Many of us find ourselves hopeful that as we age we also have some wisdom to show for it.

As a nation we desperately desire that wisdom and moral character be demonstrated by our political leaders. We also crave it from our leaders at our place of work. Clearly, becoming a leader who others want to follow is not over-rated. We can start by gaining inner clarity about who we are and what we stand for and then behaving in consistent fashion with what we espouse. What we do and what we think about consistently determines what we are and what we will become and in the end, how others experience us. When we can consistently show up in the same manner regardless of audience, power structure, and situation we have developed widened capacity towards authenticity and integrity as seen by our self and as seen by others. This congruence enables our capacity and capability for deepened relationships and better results, as a person and as a leader.

A classic HBR article by Drucker may be of interest: http://hbr.harvardbusiness.org/2005/01/managing-oneself/ar/1