"A student asked Soen Nakagawa during a meditation retreat, "I am very discouraged. What should I do?" Soen replied, "Encourage others."
-- Story from Essential Zen
Have you ever noticed that when you're feeling discouraged, continuing to focus on your problems makes them worse? And in addition, your mood gets lower, rendering you less able to come to a higher resolution? The reason is clear: When problems dominate your consciousness, they create negative energy. Literally, every thought has energy - positive or negative and physiologically it shapes our experience. One of the best ways to get out of your own pre-occupation is to turn your attention towards others and away from yourself. A great way to do this is to visit someone else who is in trouble and be present for them, when you do this, you can see that your problems aren't so bad. Try volunteering to read for an evening at a cancer center or nursing home or walking across the street! I've said this before, but it is a mantra I keep for myself given I can succumb to personal discouragement! Treat those you meet and talk to as if THEY are in serious trouble, and you will be right more than half the time! (I've tested the stats and it is true!) Serving others, encouraging others or simply paying attention to others is a great way to get out of our own negativity and is a wonderful way of snapping you out of a funk.
I tell my clients is that in addition to managing the activities of their organization, they've also got to manage the energy! As a leader, others take cues from you on how to think, act, and feel. "I've noticed that when I get down, everyone else gets down too," a client recently noted." We feed off of each other's energy and as a leader, it is important to serve other's needs by managing our own energy! Simply taking the time to acknowledge and encourage others and keeping things in perspective by serving outward can make all the difference!
"Your programming leads to your thoughts; your thoughts lead to your feelings; your feelings lead to your actions; your actions leads to your results. Therefore, just as is done with a personal computer, by changing your programming, you take the first essential step to changing your results."
~ T. Harv Eker
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3 comments:
Hi Cindy,
I totally concur with your approach. According to Zig Ziglar, a noted motivational speaker and author, “The best exercise is to lift someone up.’ Being other centered also takes a measure of selflessness. It is easy to focus inward with one is discouraged and is beset by trials and for some that inward focus is a protection from further hurt, but it also creates a great deal of negative energy that can’t be channeled to positive action.
One of the keys is to remember that we are special and are of worth. When I was a Captain, stationed at Fort Lewis, Washington, I had this sign in my office that had my picture on it. It said, “I know I’m somebody cuz’ God don’t make no junk”. A co-worker told me I was being self-centered and conceited because I put up that sign.
I said to her. “Marlene, have I ever told you I was better than you or any one else because I am an officer?” She said “No.” I asked “Have I ever treated you or anyone in this office with anything less than courtesy and respect?” She said “No”. I explained that the reason I put that sign up was to remind me that no matter how bad things may get, no matter how bad a day I have, no matter how much the Colonel may chew on me and try to make me feel lower than an ant’s belly, as long as I remember that I am a person of worth, that I am worthy of love and respect as a Son of God, and I love myself, then I can be able to lift another and make their day a great one.’ She became thoughtful and said, “I never thought about it that way”. She then promptly made her own sign and hung it up by her desk.
While I am a very confident and capable person, I also know that while I have many talents and abilities, those things make me different, but not better than others and those talents and abilities can best be used in the service of others.. It also means that when the inevitable trials and tribulations come, I had made up my mind up a long time ago to focus onward and serve others. That didn’t make the trials and tribulations go away, but that outward focus along with inner faith allowed me to deal with them is a positive way. One of my most enduring and motivational stories is that of late President Gordon B. Hinckley of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter –day Saints, who to his dying day, didn’t dwell on his cancer, but as his daughter said at his funeral, “ He got up, put on his shoes and went to work”. President Hinckley was continually focused on service to others. His niece who lives in my area, is a friend of many years. A few years ago, she lost her husband to a prolonged illness then she lost her eyesight. But despite these losses, she didn’t lose her faith, her love of self, love of God and love of others. Francie is the model of service to others and brightening their day.
You mentioned that leaders should manage organizational energy, and part of that process I am convinced is having the attitude of love, respect and caring for every member of the organization. As a combat veteran, you see this attitude in organizations that deal with the possibility of sudden death and injury to its members on a regular basis. I am not saying we all need to go through combat, but leaders establishing a positive organizational environment of love, caring and respect, that all demonstrate leaders and followers alike. The organization as whole will lift each other up and will be sensitive to anyone going into a funk. The focus of everyone will be outward to each other with positive inward energy for the organization.
Best wishes for a great day!
Terry
What do I do that helps? Because I have done A LOT of stuff to drive myself further into the funk-tunnel! It's always what you don't feel like doing that seems to help, though. Visiting with people, pretending to be happy seems to do the trick many times-- but then I'm not sure if that's a band aid fix or a real fix. A good cry and a hysterical fit sometimes does wonders, too!
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