Our Pursuit of Perfection

Just published this postcard for my clients. Thought you might be interested to read it as well. I would love to hear your thoughts and impressions.
09_JUN_Our Pursuit of Perfection.pdf

Extrodinary Moment from Robert White

I received this post from Robert White, a friend of ours and an amazing trainer, coach, etc. Thought I'd post this one for you to read. Enjoy!

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”
Rumi

My personal journey of growth and discovery plus my experience in hundreds of seminars and with thousands of people informs me that most people—beginning with me—are somewhat hard wired to look outside ourselves for answers.

A profound process is to follow this Sufi poet’s counsel and do the necessary and sometimes painful work of self discovery; to identify and clear those “barriers within yourself” preventing you from full self expression; to cease seeking for love and move yourself to a place where you can simply allow it to flow.
With love and respect,
Robert

Crossroads

"Meditation is old and honorable, so why should I not sit, every morning of my life, on the hillside, looking into the shining world? Because, properly attended to, delight, as well as havoc, is suggestion. Can one be passionate about the just, the ideal, the sublime, and the holy, and yet commit to no labor in it's cause? I don't think so.

All summations have a beginning, all effect has a story, all kindness begins with the sown seed. Thought buds toward radiance. The gospel of light is the crossroads of - indolence, or action.

Be ignited, or be gone?" - Mary Oliver

I have had dedicated coaches and counseling throughout my life; by choice as I am in the profession. (I believe in eating your own cookin') One day as I went on reviewing my week and venting to my coach, he said, "Are you going to do anything about it or do you just want to whine about it? And then came the big ah-ha when he continued to say, "because if you choose not to do anything about it, then you lose your right to whine along with it." It has always stuck with me.

Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it.
Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.
--Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

What to do if you are in a Funk!

"A student asked Soen Nakagawa during a meditation retreat, "I am very discouraged. What should I do?" Soen replied, "Encourage others."
-- Story from Essential Zen

Have you ever noticed that when you're feeling discouraged, continuing to focus on your problems makes them worse? And in addition, your mood gets lower, rendering you less able to come to a higher resolution? The reason is clear: When problems dominate your consciousness, they create negative energy. Literally, every thought has energy - positive or negative and physiologically it shapes our experience. One of the best ways to get out of your own pre-occupation is to turn your attention towards others and away from yourself. A great way to do this is to visit someone else who is in trouble and be present for them, when you do this, you can see that your problems aren't so bad. Try volunteering to read for an evening at a cancer center or nursing home or walking across the street! I've said this before, but it is a mantra I keep for myself given I can succumb to personal discouragement! Treat those you meet and talk to as if THEY are in serious trouble, and you will be right more than half the time! (I've tested the stats and it is true!) Serving others, encouraging others or simply paying attention to others is a great way to get out of our own negativity and is a wonderful way of snapping you out of a funk.

I tell my clients is that in addition to managing the activities of their organization, they've also got to manage the energy! As a leader, others take cues from you on how to think, act, and feel. "I've noticed that when I get down, everyone else gets down too," a client recently noted." We feed off of each other's energy and as a leader, it is important to serve other's needs by managing our own energy! Simply taking the time to acknowledge and encourage others and keeping things in perspective by serving outward can make all the difference!

"Your programming leads to your thoughts; your thoughts lead to your feelings; your feelings lead to your actions; your actions leads to your results. Therefore, just as is done with a personal computer, by changing your programming, you take the first essential step to changing your results."

~ T. Harv Eker

Four Tangibles of Trust

A cornerstone to highly effective leadership teams, or any team for that matter, is establishing trust. Most of us are all too familiar with environments where trust is absent; keeping the game face on, blaming, general CYA at all times, working around certain people or departments; not fully disclosing, etc. All of this takes a long of energy, causes stress, creates ineffective and inefficient work processes, and creates a sense of hopelessness about creating the outcomes everyone “says” they want. Patrick Lencioni who wrote the best seller, The Five Dysfunctions of a Team, suggests that trust is so foundational that without it teams and organizations will find themselves perpetually underwhelmed by their results. But one liners about trust are so nebulous and so vague that it is hard to know what to "do" to create trust.

Trust can be quantified and is actually very concrete when it’s 4 elements are understood and deliberately worked. Managing trust can be a part of your personal and team leadership agenda.

Competence- Meeting Expectation

Simply stated: Do you have the skill, capability and capacity to perform the request at the expected level of excellence? When selecting a surgeon we do not generally put ourselves in their hands if they are not qualified and deemed competent by prior patients and other medical staff. The same is true in the business environment. If you find yourself taking things on that you have no expertise in but determine to take on anyway, it won’t be surprising when it is not done well. What you may not realize is that a general skepticism and lack of confidence will begin to erode “trust” in you. . When you hold yourself to be an expert at something but are not capable of performing to the specifications needed, you are, in essence, not trust worthy.

Reliability – The long View

Reliability consists of two elements. 1) Do you keep your word? and 2) Can you be counted on? Keeping commitments is based on having the integrity to do what you say you will do. If you promise something to someone on a certain date, does it happen consistently or do you “let things slide” without explanation requiring follow up? Do you say yes, when you know you won’t be able to accomplish the task when it is expected? Or how about the all so common, “let’s get together for dinner” without any intention to do so? When this behavior is exhibited you are seen as “not trustworthy” and the word spreads rapidly, most likely without ever getting back to you that you are “flaky.” Being counted on is related to keeping your word but it describes a deeper consistency. We once had an employee who was certainly competent and sometimes very reliable. However, there were times when this person became “missing in action” and in the end could not be counted on over the duration to be considered reliable or to be trusted. Consistency is essential for trust to be present.

Authenticity – Without Guile

To be authentic is simply to be sincere and transparent. This means that language is not disguised in double talk; people know that when you talk they can rely on your words. Authenticity also connotes integrity; when you say something, your actions bear it out. We see a lot of behavior today that is just the opposite of authentic or sincere; it is called beguilement. When our leaders or politicians use “guile” they are skilled in the art of deception using charm, hope and words that enamor but in the end mislead or delude. Authentic leaders give us the bad news without flowery words that mislead. The authentic path is sometimes a harder path as it takes courage and fortitude. In the end, however, it is these leaders who are most successful and most trusted. (sometimes even reaching beyond the grave in our memory)

Vulnerability – Beginner’s Mind

What does vulnerability have to do with trust? Wikipedia’s definition of vulnerability is to : have one's guard down, open to censure or criticism; assailable; refers to a person's state of being liable to succumb, as to persuasion. Clearly having one’s guard down when one is in military combat, is not what we are talking about here. The bullets of the corporation can be very threatening but the only way to “get out of corporate warfare” is for leaders to model a new way. This element is grounded in humility which happens to be the magic ingredient that Collins research defined for effective “level 5” leaders: catapulting them to the top. Being vulnerable as a leader means being open to others ideas, looking at things with what Buddhist call “the beginner’s mind." Allowing the expert mind to be quiet enough to learn new things and see others points of view. It means to honor and respect others ideas and perspectives. This also entails being open to feedback; both positive and negative with an attitude of learning and growth. Demonstrating vulnerability means letting go of the “old” command leadership style where you have all the answers to saying, “I don’t know” and allowing the answer to emerge or come from others as well as a willingness to try new things. Leadership teams that cannot have open conversations about their humanness, admit mistakes and fears and have the courage to “speak their truth” will never trust one another. This level of openness is simply required for real trust to exist.

The breach one of these elements decreases trust and trustworthiness. This doesn’t mean that one can’t apologize, establish new ways of operating and recommit! Working trust as a leader and as a team is a deliberate agenda that takes time for each member and the team as a whole to be consistent about. It's worth it if better results are desired and a personal benefit will emerge too as trust is established; more joy, less stress, a more fulfilling leadership experience, growth and better results.